in dire need of sleep now. was so tired but couldnt sleep. dont even know what i said last night. all i know's that its hurting pretty badly. all i can hear are the sounds made in the cab; those i tried to block out but then ironically heard everso clearly even amidst the blasting sounds of "music". technically its my fault cos i shouldnt mind it at all. [like who am i to mind? you're the person "kiapped" in the middle, you dumbass. GET OUT! i say so but yet cant do so] but why do i mind it so much? the answer's pretty obvious. party was pretty disappointing but an experience nonetheless. back to hy's house after a long detour, cornered, out, talked. the long tight hug from the back in silence; nothing needed to be said - i wish we stayed there forever. "i'm sorry" was about all i could mouth besides constantly pulling hairs from the carpet. lookin' you in the eye would only make me detox which i controlled all-night. don't go, i wanted to say. yin1 wei4 wo3 shi4 zhen1 de4 zhen1 de4 hao2 xi3 huan1 ni2.
next step? we'll see.
(and bytheway, i'm never asking anyone to dance again. not tht i personally did so but still.. i'm so insulted.)
i'm just. lost. you found me, lifted me on high thn gave me up the very next moment. whyyy? :(
just because you gave me up doesnt mean i can give you up. i've been waiting forever to hear you say wht you did tht night. i was so so happy. now tht you did, and aft whts happened recently, i'm not so sure i wanted to hear it in the first place. cos it hurts so so much to see you with someone else. and i'm jst being jealous and selfish. I'M SORRY.
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hey! i really don't believe it works that way. sigh, i hope you're all right though. hellooo anyhow -big wave- if i pass my driving, i'll drive you on sunday ya? -keeps fingers crossed-
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