to forget the <3ache, its time to bring on the gyming

okay. so here's the other part of the weekend. shant mention it here but lets say her words affected me quite abit. for once in a long(er than usual time), i actually felt "heartpain". but i'l be fine. wht was i thinking anyway? so thts tht. hvnt replied. dont knw wht to say. i need time i suppose.

now to the better stuff.
yesterday, mum met me after work to help me sign up for CF since im under 21 (worse still, i get stopped to be checked for nc16 movies sometimes -_-). was supposed to be some free trial thingy for 2 weeks but now i can be there for life (: literally. long story, but i dont knw wht rendered so much attention, apparently mum said i had the entire crew of "men in black " behind me. i didnt even knw! GM came personally to say hi and offered me stuff. got pullover and sling bag too. pretty cool stuff. got a trial PT thingy too for a month. my PT's Rendy. looks like a pretty nice guy. hafta book my first session soon though. better give him a call. the best part? mum paid for all tht cos she said it wldnt be a waste cos its like my life :D (whn you're single, these things become your passion. jkjk) but. subsequently if im gna let Rendy cont to train me, im gna hafta pay myself. soooo.. part-time/weekend jobs anyone? i think im really gna need it. each session's like 100bucks. gna be real broke in no time mann. so plse let me knw if yall have any "lobang"s!
anyhow, aside the 7-page self-realisation a.k.a "ouch" sms over the weekend, all's good.

whn i went to the gym today, had a weird feeling. like many eyes watching. but tht happened yesterday, and almost all the time anyway so i shant be too bothered. haha. card's not ready yet, but it shld be soon. whoo.

shagged nonetheless. did practically nothing at work today. surprisingly, its more tiring to try to stay awake from boredom! hardly spoke a hundred words today. thankfully the French Open started ard 3pm after rain suspensions. i "watched" it on my laptop by viewing the Live Scoring. so i watch the scores of all courts change as they are being played. but i see no human images. rofl. hey, thts the best you can do at wrk with Websense tht blocks out almost everything thts not news and not banking&finance :/

gymmed after work.
bro's singles match against Shogo tmrw 11am @ Kallang.
gna watch.
thn, stayover at hy's prolly.
actually, feel like jst watching some sad movie(s) so i'd have an excuse to cry. hah.
but nah. strong people dont cry :)

- afterall, you cant lose what you never had

the road full of ups and downs

okie dokes. so im back here after the tiring weekend i've had. it was good and bad, to say the least. had fun @ siloso thn heartache. but i'd say things aint tht bad still. as they say, always try to look on the bright side of things. even if there's no bright side, you create one yourself.



so lets see. i had many things to update.



1) Dinner with Victoria

ah this was fun (: she's like a big sister i've never had. had fun talking to her and all. its amazing to see the amount of faith she has in god. makes me feel ashamed :( we went to newton circus after work for dinner (waited for her abit). was carrying the paddle ard so i looked damn weird but thn she said "dont complain.. im walking with you so we're even". HAHA. she's funny. thn on the way back she tried to sing a hymn for me. i totally didnt knw wht song it was lah. but good try :D



2) Work

my internship has the consistency of the heart rate monitor in the hospital :/ work comes in spurts and major ones at tht. either two days cant sleep or an entire day without a single task. if only it was more even lahh. had to even bring home and do. until charles was like "still working??" lol. so yea. worked till like 12 mn. cldnt take it. went to sleep. next day chiong-ed everything. managed to submit it before the end fo the day. phew. at least i got treated to ramen for my good wrk. HAHA.



3) Training

had a really good session on saturday, even though it was blazing hot and we only had one small boat cos everyone else's trng for the race too :/ sat in front of shauna (:D) got to row after they came back from the first lap of warmup. raphael said we (shauna, juliana and myself) have improved alot (beams) so we got to row with the seasoned rowers AND practice/try starts! pretty tough but i think we did okay! we'l be doing more of it from now i reckon. got my life jacket. yayness.



4) NUS Welcome Tea

it was a good session. totally fitted in unlike in the other place. ahem. as i was saying, had the tea recep (where i saw tiara and totally got to suan Jasmine, whom i jst got to knw, from t21! :P)followed by the campus tour (we visited sheares hall!) thn the Usp cum career services talk. it was in the midst of the sheares hall prep talk tht i received the sms from home saying tht i got offered smu accountancy (: so thn after tht i didnt pay much attention alrdy. heh. though nus is really not bad.. i'l still be gg for their sports camp i think. ohyea. was walking ard all day with my paddle (almost injuring many HAHA). but i was halfdead okayy. damn tired. sheryl had to help me with my other nonsense along the way. luckily her parents fetched us there! ddint go to st. james cos i was totally shagged. made my way home and plopped dead on the bed. rofl.



5) SWATCH FIVB BEACH VOLLEY WORLD TOUR 2007

held at siloso sentosa. this hadta be the highlight of my weekend. headed to church in the morning thn packed my stuff. napped too. waited for huiying to pick me up. headed to siloso's Cafe Del Mar! we were totally baking. my margherita melted the moment it arrived! okay. two moments. haha. we thn spooted a shaded bed and quickly moved there. closer to 3 we headed to the championship area. HAD TO buy tickets cos they set up a stadium. so we did. got a goodie bag too. boy was it hot. i thought i was gna be roasted. but it was awesome! the saves, the spikes and the body blocks. not to mention hot brazilian asses. HAHA. now i sound like a perv but huiying spotted, not me! lol. but it was great. jst whn you think the point is over, walaa! awesome saves from diving hot bods come out from no where and everyone jst cheers in amazement. really glad i managed to catch it. goodness knws whn they'l return to singapore again.

okay im not too good with uploading photos and all. so no captions either. lol. need em? jst ask me (:

T.G.I FRIDAY!

whoohoo the weekend's here! definitely one of the most tiring weeks of my life this year.. okay but im really shagged so i'l just make a note here on what i shall need to update when im free.
- dinner with victoria (:
- WORK
- trng
- NUS welcome tea
- SWATCH FIVB :D
soooo i shall be back here after the weekend.
it's packed!
oohh. and its the start of the GSS today. lol. not much effect on me but ohwells.
just means tht everywhere's crowded! esp today.. start of GSS, friday late night shopping AND start of june holidays.
tsktsk.
okay im out!
till monday.. stay cool yall.

HARD-EARNED money

as the title suggests.. hmm. no time to explain now though. jst really. just finished work. yes, internship also must work from home :/ to cut the long story short, crazy day at work, dinner with victoria (:)), home, work somemore. will update tmrw or smth. got a packed weekend too. dont knw how im gna survive! but its worth it!

tmrw's the deadline for the stuff im doing. hopefully i'l end on time so i can finally go get the top i want from n.u.m. hopefully they have. saw it at the heeren but im planning to jst stop by cityhall to get it on my way home. its for SWATCH FIVB on sunday mann. whoo.

alright im out. laters.

i'll stand by you

shagged

ahwell. the post title says it all, doesnt it? im totally beat. worked for a full 11.5 hours today almost non-stop 'cept for toilet breaks and filling my water bottle and a few occasional 10-second daydreaming and thoughts running about. lol. basically tried my best to do as much of the template as i could. still a long way to go. ming's lent me her paddle! so i wont hafta use the SDBA's paddles for training anymore (: gotta bring it home before saturday though.

so NUS Welcome ceremony it is on Saturday. will prolly leave St. James early though. dont knw wht time i can last till!

so let's see. im really too tired to update (alot to say actually but cant "pen" 'em down 'cos its restricted access on the Net at work) but at least im here! on a last note, a reply sms wrote smth like this, "she just wants to let it be for the moment. dont think too much". so there it is. leave things as they are for now i suppose. and we'll see how things go from now. hmm.

love me for a reason, let the reason be love; was tht the reason? or was i just a toy to be thrown around..

lesson number one

lesson number one? DONT COMPLAIN WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO. 'cos thats what i did and guess what? got super overloaded today :/ format a whole new template from the original list i did up. omg. its hell tiring. didnt get to eat lunch. stole bites at biscuits and had a milo. ohwells. glad the day's over at least. didnt get to do any of my paddling exercises today :(

NUS Business School Welcome Reception's this saturday 26th May at 230pm at the University Hall. ends pretty late though. 'cos its that, then campus tour/career thumbprint followed by party at St. James Powerhouse. havent decided whether to go or not. going straight from paddling you see. HMM.

well well, many thoughts again today as usual (im a thinker mann. lol). how fast life's changing, its amazing. sometimes shocking. people come and go in our lives too. have you ever wished some who've entered and left'd just stay for a lifetime? i have, but what can i do? life aint always about getting your way i've learnt. its about handling things that come your way as best as you can. the ending will then undoubtly be sweet somehow.

i think one bad thing 'bout me's that i tend to be too emo and too sentimental. the world's not gonna care mann. time to toughen up. as someone told me, LEARN TO LET GO. na de qi, fang de xia.. fan shi dou yao zhe yang. seems pretty tough but i shall try. hey, its been more than six months. its high time i moved on.

i asked countless times "will you be my friend again?"; no answer. at all. sometimes i think i should just give up. its tiring to be the only one trying. yet some parts tell me it'll always be more than just a case of friends. why's that so? is it good or bad? right now, i think i just need my sleep before i get more sick. cant afford to do so.

so before i sign off, how's everyone out there? good? i sure hope so. life's short so just live it to the best you can aye. love like there's no tomorrow, live like its your last. my motto. you may get hurt, but hey, at least you know you felt happiness whilst it lasted :) and thats xing fu.

cheerios -winks.

bitter start, sweet ending..

alright. what can i say? the week got off to a very bad start with a quarrel over university admission. got scolded, called insensitive and what not. was pretty much really affected 'cos she fussed over it and i was really angry 'cos my intention was totally misunderstood (as always). yet, thinking 'bout it from her point of view, i guess i was being a tad insensitive, assuming it aint sore anymore. cold war for the entire day until i came home, all chilled alrdy. decided to apologise and all so i messaged her. things're pretty cool now so yea. all's well.

but. still going nowhere with the uni acceptance though. mrsloke says NUS or NTU but it really depends on what you want to do next time. mssoong says whoa really tough choice, depends on what you wanna do in the future. so there. the question is. WHAT DO I WANT TO DO IN THE FUTURE?? accountancy i'd shout but it aint no longer possible unless i mug my butt off in year one and get considered for a double degree which'd mean five years of studying. whoo. we'll see how things go.

Swatch FIVB Beach Volley World Tour starting thursday through sunday. missed signing up as a volunteer :( hey. you getta see hot people mann. who wouldnt wanna? haha. so i guess i'd be making a trip down to soak in the sun and watch some top notch beach volley (:

aight. that aside, i've really REALLY gotta start building up my muscle endurance again - preferably not through heavy weights training (im done with that - six years is long enough). it's not gonna last the entire race come end june if it stays at this stage (it aint too bad but far from good trust me). apparently its 800m, lasting 'bout 5minutes hopefully; so we're doing six minutes paddling non-stop now with a few pull-tens in between to really push ourselves, and im bearly lasting those intervals =/. also, the problem is that there's no land training so that makes things a tad harder for me. gotta self-train i reckon. i need an effective one month plan! somebody help.

attempted to bring my bike out for a spin again after 47194791074312 days but the tyres "pangchek" :/ brought it back in and mum goes "rain?" HMM.

i was thinking. is everyone afraid of loneliness? what happens when one is really lonely? what happens to those who've not only lost a lover through a break-up or forced separation, but have only themselves in this whole wide world? with no one and nothing to lean on in times of need. no one to give 'em a tight hug and say perhaps, "everything's gonna be alright". how'd they feel? when i think of that, i momentarily stop complaining. and just for a moment, i close my eyes and feel your presence with me again. and for that moment, i feel the gentle breeze against my cheeks and the warmth and comfort that has been missing for a long long time.

HELP!

oohh okayy. talking 'bout dilemmas and speaking of the devil, just checked my SMU application online and i've gotten into SMU but not into accountancy :( its business. so whats it gonna be? NUS, NTU or SMU business? the course, the campus or what? ohmy. its gonna be tough. let's just hope that any choice i make, it'll be the right one. nahh i trust that it would. so now, let's see which one i decide on. anyone wanna gimme any feedback or opinions, please feel free to do so! much appreciated :)

a new beginning?

alright. guess this marks a "new start" and yet another attempt of mine at keeping a blog (my friends'd know that the previous attempts were utterly futile and im as bad at keeping a blog as i am at keeping pets, mainly because im allergic to most of 'em) haha.

okayy. that aside, 2007 has been pretty steady for me. swinging single and just VERY busy with work. PwC was a good experience and now my internship at standardchartered's keeping me in the office for looonnggg hours everyday - which's pretty good i might add, 'cos it keeps me outta trouble and occupied :) as usual, thoughts've been running circles in my mind and well, let's just say not everything can be forgotten or settled within months. im reckoning it'd take years. ahwell.

i've also embarked on my new hobby out in the sun. hopefully i'l be able to sustain it (let's be honest here. my willpower aint that strong all the time). also, i've set my sight on the abs. haha. well that'd be the real challenge 'cos i've never tried it before but well. given the slightly more freedom handed to me this year, im thinking i could keep my relationships going better now. university's also way different from college so i'd say things could be much better if it'd happen now. but anyways. im speaking in riddles again (and joantiong'd disapprove of it 'cos i'd confuse her HAHA).

so yes. university. start of a new journey for us. many friends leaving for abroad :( some i know of and have been able to send off with a big hug and gift, and others perhaps leaving silently. you'll all be missed.

have yet to hear from SMU. still praying real hard. first choice for NUS and second for NTU offered. the course or the school? school, needless to say, it'd be NUS :) but yet, God being the fair man that he is, has put the better courses at NTU, thus creating a definite dilemma :/ a wise person'd choose the latter varsity but i, being the "stay in school allday also no problem only if i love the school" person i am, NUS seems much more appealing. where distance is concerned, SMU reigns. the people and school culture there suits me too (and so my friends say). ohwell. we'll see i guess.

right now im down with a bad flu and "on-off" fever :( swear it sucks being sick 'cos i really really dont like visiting the doc (its a long story - childhood trauma; it goes a long wayy). okie dokes. its been a pretty long entry for the first. more interesting ones to come i hope!